Julie Lynn Ashley is a grief coach with a passion for helping people who have experienced loss. Her ministry provides one-on-one support to those struggling with grief, offering a safe and open space for discussion and processing. She believes that grieving people need someone to sit with them through the process and stay attuned to important dates, and she encourages local churches to provide support by keeping funeral programs and following up on those dates. With a biblical foundation and a master’s degree in thanatology, Julie Lynn is well-equipped to help those in need.
Biblical Foundations for Grief Ministry
Meet Julie Lynn Ashley
Julie Lynn holds a Masters of Science in Thanatology (death, grief, and bereavement), is a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, mom to Landon and Kyle (both in college), and wife to her very best friend of 27 years, Doug, who is a lead pastor in Texas.
Julie Lynn has worked and volunteered in the hospice industry for years and there developed a God-given passion for supporting grieving people. She now has a grief support ministry (both in person and online) where she works with people one on one who needs support following a death loss.
She loves watching sports of all kinds, traveling with Doug, and having a long conversation with a good friend over a cup of coffee.
Introduction to Grief Ministry
When Julie Lynn and her husband moved to Texas several years ago she was looking to get to know people and connect in the community. The wife of a couple they knew suggested she volunteer with a local hospice group. Though she had never done that type of work, she was willing to give it a chance. Almost immediately Julie Lynn was drawn to the bereavement side of the program. She realized she had a God-given passion for people who had experienced this loss and were left with this giant hole in their life.
At a Griefshare meeting one evening, she felt this new calling in her life. She shares; “I was watching one of the videos, and the room was dark, and it kind of washed over me from head to toe, God saying, Julie Lynn, this is Act 2. This is what I want you to do with the rest of your life”.
At that moment she had no idea how things would play out and that she would get her Master’s Degree of Science in Thanatology (death, grief, and bereavement). The local Hospice Chaplain provided resources and God provided mightily as she attended grad school.
After receiving her degree she went to work in the Hospice industry, specifically on the bereavement side, doing brief follow-up calls with families. Then she transitioned into her own ministry, where she is working one-on-one with people. She can go deeper with each individual than she was able to in the Hospice industry while she was following up with hundreds of families.
The ministry that I have is to give grieving people a wide open space to discuss what they’re going through as they’re processing life without their loved ones.
~Julie Lynn Ashley
Biblical Foundation
There are two key scriptures that Julie Lynn references in her ministry.
The first one is Philippians 1:6, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”. This is a verse that Julie Lynn clung to as she traveled the mysterious journey to where she is now. It is also a verse she shares with clients that she works with. It shows that God has something for them in the middle of the pain that they’re going through.
The second scripture is in Isaiah 61:1, “…the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted…”
I love that God sees and hears and knows the broken-hearted
and that he cares about them.
~Julie Lynn Ashley
What Grieving People Really Need
Someone to sit with them through the grieving process
One thing that grieving people need is someone willing to sit in the dissonance with them. Grief is not something that will ever be fixed on this side of heaven. That chair will always be empty at Thanksgiving dinner. It’s not going to be fixed. God only made one of the person that they lost. So grieving people are looking for someone to sit with them, and not try to rush them through the grieving process.
Someone to stay attuned to those very specific, important dates.
It is good to keep the program from the funeral or the obituary. It gives several very important dates. This one document will give you the death date, the birth date, and if married the anniversary date. Sometimes a grieving person’s own extended family doesn’t connect the need with those specific dates. So people, being tuned to those dates for a grieving person is extremely powerful, as they’re walking through these days, adjusting to life on earth without their loved one.
Grief Coaching with Julie Lynn
Many clients begin to work with Julie Lynn, as their grief coach, either around 4-6 weeks after a loss or around 6 months after.
After around a month has gone by, reality begins to set in. The services are over, the cards have ceased, and people have stopped coming by. Everyone else has gone back to their normal life, while this person is left to live their life without their loved one.
The other critical point has been around 6 months after the loss. This is when the finality sets in that this person is not just on a trip. They are not on vacation. They are not coming back. That six-month mark can be very poignant in the life of a grieving person.
Even though this has been the history of the clients for Julie Lynn, this is not the case for every person. She even had a client come to her three years after a loss. “It really varies, and it just shows that grief does not have a timetable or a calendar”, says Julie Lynn.
Most of her clients have come from referrals from pastors, friends, counselors, and workshops, or they have found her on her website. She even has churches who have paid for clients to work with her as a gift to that client. What a lovely way to support a grieving parishioner!
Listen to the full episode to hear Julie Lynn walk us through what her sessions look like!
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How the Local Church can Help
Keep the funeral program and assign someone to follow up on those important dates.
This could be done by the pastor, staff, or small group that the person was involved with. Ways to follow up could be a text, a card, or a phone call. For those who are close, maybe even a visit. Some churches keep an Excel spreadsheet of these dates and share them each month with the appropriate people.
Consider having a Blue Christmas Service
Several churches across the United States do these. There are some websites out there that can give you some good ideas on how to form a Blue Christmas service. It can be very powerful in the life of a grieving person around the holidays, to have their church acknowledge their loss.
Download this resource sheet
Julie Lynn has compiled a list of organizations that support grief in other ways. From infant to adult loss and groups that support teenagers as well as parents, there are many associations out there you can get involved with. Download this list and keep it in your “resource toolbox”
Are You being Called to Grief Ministry?
If you have been touched by this article and want to get more involved, consider volunteering at a local hospice organization. There are a lot of different ways to get involved. You don’t have to begin by working directly with patients. There may be administrative tasks that you can help with or ask about other ways to get involved.
Another idea would be to check out other support systems in your community. There are organizations such as GriefShare and Compassionate Friends that churches can be a part of. There are several groups listed on the resource sheet. You can check out their websites to see if there are organized programs in your area or if you would like to start something.
Ways you can Work with Julie Lynn:
- Individual Coaching – If you have experienced a loss and are interested in working with Julie Lynn as your grief coach. Julie Lynn offers a free 30-minute discovery call either by phone or Google Meet video chat for you to get to know her and ask questions before beginning to work together.
- Workshops – If you are a church or organization that would be interested in hosting a workshop with Julie Lynn visit her website or contact her for more details.
- Get the Resource List – Download the resource list to keep for if and when you need it. Talk with your church about implementing ways to minister to the grieving in your congregation.
- Referrals – If you know someone who could benefit from this type of coaching or resources, please connect them with Julie Lynn and her services.
Connect with Julie Lynn Ashley
- Email: ajulielynn@gmail.com
- Website: Julie Lynn Ashley
- Download the Resource List
Are you wondering what’s next for you?
Do you need someone to walk with you on your journey?
Whether you have experienced a loss or you are just in a new season of life.
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The Vision Planning Guide
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